[Mostly] Spot-on San Francisco Take

Sorry for the lack of posting. I wish I could say that I've had better things to do than to transcribe my ramblings, but the truth is that I've caught a raging case of the lazies when it comes to writing.

To tide all three of you over, here are Anthony Bourdain's thoughts on my current home. For the most part, I think he does an excellent job of describing it. Tune into the Travel Channel tonight to see the SF No Reservations.

I'm Not Angry
By Anthony Bourdain on August 9, 2009 11:57 AM Permalink

Let me come right out and say it. I love San Francisco. I am helpless and unwavering in my affection--in spite of every effort over the years to find fault, to dismiss, to sneer. And there's surely lots to sneer at, San Francisco and the Bay being pretty much the epicenter of so many of my most cherished aversions: political correctness, veganism, rich hippies, sanctimoniousness about food, food fetishism, animal rights terrorists, gastro-dogma, and loud locavores who actually get their produce flown in from Chino Farms in San Diego.

But at this point, I bore even myself railing against the above. Hell, I'm not even bitter about San Francisco taking the lead in banning smoking anymore. They won that battle long ago. Game over.

I guess it's like any love that's true--sooner or later you learn to accept the good, bad and silly all together. It's all part of the package when you know, without any question, that you want the package. It doesn't even matter if one's love is returned.

Okay ... it does still drive me berserko watching a blissed out St. Alice, burning up a few cords of firewood (in Berkeley no less!) to cook two eggs for an unusually credulous Lesley Stahl.

But in general, I got it all wrong, didn't I?

It may be the town of Alice Waters but it's also home to Dirty Harry. The Grateful Dead? Yes. But also the Dead Kennedys. The excrutiating and treacherous lite FM sounds of the Jefferson Starship? True enough. But also Blue Cheer, the Count Five, Big Brother, Sly and Family Stone and the greatest band that never was: the Brian Jonestown Massacre. None of these entities could have come from--or taken root--anywhere else.

I don't think you could have one San Francisco without the other. If the San Francisco area weren't the perceived headquarters of anti-foie gras forces, I doubt very much there'd be an opposing force doing something as crazy as developing a foie gras vodka. I don't know that a less crunchy community would require a stuck-joyously-in-time museum of beef like House of Prime Rib. It's like a yin and yang thing ... a balance, man, one thing creates a need for another.

San Francisco, underneath a gossamer thin veneer of granola is in fact, a two-fisted drinking town, a place of oversized martinis, silver zeppelins overloaded with bleeding slabs of meat, restaurants you could call "institutions" that defiantly refuse to suck, and in an ever tidier, cleaner, Disneyfied world--where even New York's Times Square looks like a theme park, still, a delightfully nasty, dirty, beautiful, carnivorous, vice-filled town.

And you can, apparently, recklessly careen around town at high speed in a rented Mustang (from whom we received, by the way, absolutely no money, consideration or thing of value), shooting guerilla-style, possibly without appropriate permits or safety precautions--and the local constabulary can be remarkably understanding. I doubt they would have been as tolerant of the impromptu filming of a car chase where I'm from.

Oh ... and I'd like to mention that though Swan Oyster Depot does not appear in the show (because we shot a segment there for the previous series), I ate there almost every day while shooting in town. Mopping fat and roe out of those Dungeness crab backs with sourdough bread and washing it down with a cold beer? Perfect happiness.

Updating Previous Stories

ABC Drops the Hammer on Buckshot

I came across this article in the Guardian last week. The ABC, which had already been threatening to pull the liquor licenses of some of the city's finest music venues (Café du Nord, Slim's, Swedish Music Hall, Great American Music Hall, Rickshaw Stop, Bottom of the Hill, etc.) over some arcane Puritanical Blue law bullshit, has claimed its newest victims in The Campaign Against Fun.

When I first wrote about the evil ABC, I wasn't sure whether there really would fire accompanying the smoke (see e.g. any pre-smoking ban hysteria from bar owners), but according to the article, ABC has already body slammed two local bars over similar food sale-related issues. From the Guardian:

Most recently, Revolution Café in the Mission District had to stop selling beer and wine for 20 days after ABC cited them for patrons drinking on the sidewalk adjacent to its front patio. Inner Richmond's Buckshot's liquor license was pulled because of technical violations of alcohol and food regulations, forcing owners to close their doors for a few weeks.

This is government idiocy at its finest, and I pray to the god I don't believe in that they don't touch any of the city's music venues. I would say they need to go find something better to do, but they're already a pretty stupid bureaucracy to begin with, so I doubt there is anything else.

taxdollarsatwork'd

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Lucero* Makes Me Look Stupid

After gushing about Lucero's dedication to being a professional bar band, I came across the trailer for a show called "$5 Cover" that recently premiered on MTV. Craig Brewer of "Hustle and Flow" fame apparently put his name on this, but from the acting and cinematography, I would guess the people behind "Undressed" may have had more to do with it than anyone else.

Check out Ben Nichols on the motorcycle and then the whole band playing "San Francisco" on stage near the end.

MTV five dollar cover Trailer (HD)


Normally I would be pumped that a band I like is doing a series about struggling bands and the Memphis music scene. But this series happens to be by MTV, and paraphrasing Broke-Ass Stewart, the "M" in MTV stands for "Making me hate humanity."

Furthermore, I learned via wikipedia that Lucero recently signed with Universal, so maybe they'll make it to the big show after all. If so, just go ahead and completely disregard my last Lucero post.

*And by Lucero, I'm really referring to myself here.

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The Media Gives Nadal a Pass

I'm not sure if I should be surprised at this or not. Nadal is a media darling, but we're also living in the age of gotcha journalism.

So far I have yet to see anyone in the mainstream media** call out Nadal for being a spineless coward. Shortly after I questioned the seriousness of Nadal's injuries, there was an article on espn.com/tennis about Nadal's parents getting divorced. called "Personal Woes Affecting Rafa?" The writer, Greg Garber says that his parents' divorce, and not his kness, may be behind Nadal's withdrawal, but he never takes Nadal to task for being the first champion ever to not defend because of dubious ailments.

The article was never was on the front page and was archived off the tennis page in a matter of minutes, hours at the most. Nowhere on the New York Times tennis blog did they mention the personal issues, nor have I heard any espn or NBC commentators mention it. I guess we're all just supposed to accept Uncle Toni's version of things.

I definitely find this free pass more than a little unpalatable, and I still say Nadal should be out there unless he honestly cannot move without risking serious injury. Looks like even in the gotcha age, some people are still above the law.


Oh, and I think Wimbledon has been pretty great so far. I like the Murray and Hewitt story lines.
Federer and Roddick both look great. What a compelling final it would be if either Murray or Roddick faces Federer. Roddick beating Roger would be an incredible moment for American tennis, and this could be the year it finally happens. Sucks that Oudin lost today, but the Williams sisters are looking awesome. Why, oh why, must I be working the one week when I could be watching tennis all day?

**I don't count.

The return of the monoculture

I didn't really think I'd be posting so soon about an alcoholic monoculture, and I'm not sure it really deserves a post to it self, but again last night, only a few weeks removed from the last bewildering experience, I found myself at a bar where only one alcohol was being served.


At least this time I was expecting it. And at least this time it was whiskey--and a decent whiskey at that--which is a damn sight better than a sea of Bacardi. And it was free, another notable distinction from the last debacle.*

This particular monoculture was advertised beforehand as a promotion for (ri)^1 whiskey, which is some relatively new rye production from Jim Beam. For those who didn't have the differences between rye and bourbon or plain old whiskey explained to them last night, here's the deal: All whiskey is distilled from corn, wheat/rye, and barley mash. Like bourbon, rye also sits in oak barrels to age.

Rye, though, must be made from a mash of at least 51 percent rye grain, whereas bourbon is made from at least 51 percent corn. Pre-Prohibition, rye was the whiskey of choice in the Northeast. So if you are really, really old and you had a whiskey drink in New York, Boston, or any of those other fancy Yankee cities before Carrie Nation ruined this country for a few years, that was what you were drinking.

After Prohibition, rye didn't really survive. Maybe it's because in the past I found rye to kick like a mule and bourbon to be more smooth, or maybe it's because the rise of corn-based whiskey after WWII has to do with the nefarious plot masterminded by the USDA and the military-industrial complex to inject us with as much cheap corn as possible and cripple us with obesity and apathy while they conspire with the Federal Reserve to financially enslave us and..............WHOA.

Sorry about that. So maybe it's just because people prefer bourbon.

Anyway, rye has enjoyed new found popularity and traditional rye cocktails like the sazerac are making a comeback. Jim Beam is capitalizing on this trend with (ri)^1, hence the tasting event last night.

Strangely enough, though, the event last night hardly seemed to be about whiskey at all. Sure, the whiskey label was clearly visible throughout the art gallery, but the only four drink choices involved copious amounts of simple syrup, citrus juice, herbs, chunks of pineapple, and even chipotle peppers. My company (all female) agreed that most, if not all, of the drinks were too sweet, even by their hairless chest standards.

It was explained to me that the purpose of the event was to present rye as a versatile alcohol that can be used in a variety of ways. The slogan on their Web site is even "mixes well, but never blends in." So the point was to show all sorts of people who think they don't like rye whiskey that it can be just as palatable as the insipid vodka. I guess that could make sense if you were trying to expand your market, but to me it's kind of silly.

I'm fairly certain that rye whiskey is never going to replace the ubiquatous and tastless vodka as the base liquor of choice for cocktails among people who enjoy drinking lots of sugar. It's just not.

I would think it would make more sense to show people what their whiskey actually tastes like, which I found to be fairly smooth and enjoyable. If people don't want to drink it straight like I did, then have some cocktails like the sazerac that show what rye is all about. Why would people switch to rye if it's flavor is masked just like vodka? It seems even more likely that people would opt for vodka when it's so much cheaper than the $40 and up price tag I've seen on (ri)^1.

The only way you could get some people to start drinking expensive rye if they don't even know what it tastes like is to market it as something hip and cool. Therefore, you hold a free event in a hip gallery, invite lots of young people who are interested in trends, hire attractive young women to serve drinks and give them tight-fitting futuristic/nostalgic orange dresses to wear, and hope a bunch of other trend-savvy people see them order (ri)^1 next time they go to a hip, new bar.

I think that could work in the short term (like maybe one or two visits to a bar after the event), but I still don't see people ordering a bottle of rye next time they go to Ghostbar or wherever. That won't come until they convince L'il Wayne to put down the cough syrup and slug some rye next time he's on camera. Even then, most alcohols who go down this road until people became sick of it or move on to the next hooch de jour.

But then again, I guess they are big enough that they already make plenty of money from Knob Creek, Basil Hayden's, Booker's, Baker's, and Old Overholt. So with all the cushion to work with, I guess this foray into tempting the average liquor swiller might actually be a pretty good plan. Thanks again for the rye, Jim Beam, and good luck.



*Thanks again to Dan Cohen and Rachel's friend Greg from Australia.

Prohibition making a comeback?

The Puritanical forces of evil fire another shot across the bow of all that is good and fun:




Apparently Bottom of the Hill and other SF music venues aren't selling enough old hot dogs and soggy pizzas to satisfy the California Alcoholic Beverage Control's stringent demands for how much food a MUSIC venue has to sell. Despite not having many (or sometimes any) complaints on their liquor licenses, Slim's, Great American Music Hall, Cafe du Nord, and Bottom of the Hill are in jeopardy of not having their liquor licenses renewed.

That's right, the same people who brought you patrolling bars to dole out MIPs and issuing three-figure fines to pimply faced cashiers who lazily sell beer without checking IDs are now threatening some of the city's best music venues. In these times of economic hardship, the ABC has decided to target small businesses that are making this community vibrant and creative.

Way to go, ABC, let's make sure 18-year-olds have no place to hang out at night. We all know they get into less trouble when they're roaming the streets and public parks. Much better than letting them listen to some live music.